Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
