If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
