Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
