dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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