even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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