Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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