I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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