just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
