I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize