I heard we made out
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
