my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
