I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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