what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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