i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Im part way to drunk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
