eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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