Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
