do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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