Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All the doctor said was why
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
