I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We have so much sex to catch up on
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
