How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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