so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
