So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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