How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
this hospital has no fireball
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
