Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
