i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
