I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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