she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
