We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
