lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
