this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize