okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
