your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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