im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize