Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
