you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
