we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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