just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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