Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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