You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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