i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
