Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
