I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
