Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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