Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize