That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize