ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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