I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
