My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
