i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
