My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
