I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
