Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize