My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This house was built for laser tag.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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